{Poem} Lavender

I know ‘Poetry Monday’ has just been, but today is a bad day – my condition has flared and I want to share this with you.  I wrote this poem as I sat trapped inside my apartment, tied to my couch, watching the world go by – wondering if I will ever get better? I know this is just a relapse; how I feel right now won’t last. But this minute, this day – I’m in pain, so I respond with poetry. 

What I notice
When I’m unwell;
My lavender has
Started to blossom.
The sun always seems
Brighter
And warmer.
I welcome the rain
Its downfall is like a
Russian dance;
Fast and intense.
Food no longer
Appeals to me.
Smelling a cake baking
Is sickly.
Time slows,
As does my heart.
And the darkness
Inside grows –
But not like my lavender.
My thoughts race to
The End.

What do you do when you have a bad day? I have booked a massage as I know this always makes me feel better, both physically and mentally. I also booked an appointment to see my psychologist; I have a tendency to suppress and push forward – which is never sustainable. Acknowledging that I needed extra help was once embarrassing, now it’s essential to my well-being. 


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